Private Coder (ala Tina Turner’s Private Dancer)

PRIVATE CODER

Lyrics by mylevel4cache

Bonus points: If you’re in an office, play the video below and sing the new lyrics. Loudly. Impress your coworkers.

I wake up early in the morning
And the bed is nice and warm
Want to sleep but something’s ringing
I’m not dreaming it’s my alarm
Stumble through this darkest hour
Furry children on my six
Coffee, cat food and a shower
Kiss the wifey, hit the bricks

I’m your private coder, a coder for money
I’ll do what you want me to do
I’m your private coder, a coder for money
And any old framework will do

I think of Big Tech and cool hoodies
As I’m driving in to work
Would have to move to West Coast cities
And that Zuck guy is a major jerk
Cruise the lot for some free spaces
Nothing open, I lose again
Clock is ticking, start the races
Want to drive my car right in

I’m your private coder, a coder for money
I’ll do what you want me to do
I’m your private coder, a coder for money
And any old break room will do

I’m your private coder, a coder for money
I’ll do what you want me to do
I’m your private coder, a coder for money
And any old source code will do

Dem-o has star-ted
The manager is stressed and looks slightly pale blue
I grab the mouse and try to log in
Locked out, hey what’s the phone for that guy Jimmy again?

I’m your private coder, a coder for money
I’ll do what you want me to do
I’m your private coder, a coder for money
A 1% raise? Hey, thank you!

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